What's with all the rules?!

Today, I just want to bitch and moan and complain about stuff. Why? Because that's how I feel today. There is an overcast outside, and an overcast over my mood. I'm 21 years old, most 21 year olds aren't trying to beat a battle of depression. What are they doing? Enjoying the fact that they can drink what they want, do what they want, party, have fun in the sense of what 21 year olds wait for.

I don't drink very often for this to be a real problem. Except the fact that I love wine and if I had the funds, would drink it more often. Now I can't at all, ever. Because my meds said No. My mom says No.

I'm one of those people you cannot say No to, because once that word is uttered I'm off doing it because, well dammit I don't like to follow rules.

My dad still makes the dumb joke of "I try to teach my oldest it's okay to break some rules and my second oldest that it's okay to follow the rules" (Joke is dumb dad, just saying.)

I follow most rules, I just don't like them. I find rules to be ridiculous, even if they are necessary. How can I live a "normal" life when I have all these restrictions? 

Jumping through hoops and watching the red tape shouldn't be apart of that. 

I understand and not delusional to the whole concept of rules. They are to keep us safe and what not. But  it just feels like I can't do anything.

I know this is all based off of perspective. But I still have this feeling that I'm stuck in a box because I can't do the things other people are doing.

I shouldn't get mad or upset because I don't really do anything to start with. I'm kind of a home-body. I like my movies, live off of popcorn and don't mind staying in sweats all day.

I just want to be able to have options of what I can do. Not have rules looming over me.