Today was my first day back at school. I woke up early, ate breakfast, got dressed and headed off to class. No big deal right? Wrong. I was so strung out and so on edge that I left halfway through. I only had one class today, and I couldn't even do it. I couldn't last the entire time in Studio.
Am I really that pathetic?
No, because I came back. I could have stayed in the safety of my home and my mom's studio. Instead I came back to campus, faced one of my mentally abusive courses and woke up to the idea of having a great day today.
I did for the most part. Studio usually gets on my nervous because of the ego's people through around. (You're undergraduate artist, keep that in mind children) That's not to "dis" the people in Studio, I have seen some of the most amazing pieces come out of studio, I just become irritated with the false self worth.
But if I can't handle one class today, how can I handle three classes tomorrow? Luckily I have my psych department for two of the classes that I have to have tomorrow. I'm also thankful for the two hour break I get in between classes.
It just bothers me that I can become so frazzled so easily. I know that I can only take it one day at a time. I just want to go back to the way I was, but happier and healthier. Instead of having to interact with everyone like I'm walking on egg shells.
This really sucks.
NO kelsey- who you were before was not really you. Yes you take it one day at a time. Half way through studio today. Then the next studio time you add 15 minutes more ot it and so on. Until you feel confident about it.
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