Off the band wagon

Lately I haven't been taking my medicine. I had it in my head that the medication was making me gain weight and all I want to do is be skinny again. I don't want to be dependent for the rest of my life either. I know this isn't going to help me out in the least but I have my own personal battles that I have to constantly face. 

I don't want to have this crutch all my life. It's hitting me that I can't function without my medicine. I feel trapped in a box that I can't get out of. But who knows, maybe in a few years, I won't need the medicine anymore and I'll be able to keep my life in order. 

It's a daily battle going on. I know I need to take my medicine but at the same time I don't want to be stuck taking it the rest of my life.